Posted by: birdmaddgirl | 24 August 2009

spiritual? well… umm… you see…

i’ve asked myself a few times now: what is it that i want to accomplish with this project? i work things out best by talking or writing them out, so there’s that. how to describe this blog? i keep thinking this is my spiritual blog and then cringing away from that word. i even want to type it in quotes and am resisiting.

why is spiritual such a loaded word, in some ways, a dirty word? i don’t know what my baggage is around it – i wasn’t raised in a religious household and have no negative experiences associated with spiritual pursuit. quite the opposite. i love going to services, especially in places that have been used for spiritual practices for a long time. there’s a special feeling to those places. when i travel, i actively look for interesting churches, mosques, synogogues, you name it to see. one of my favorite experiences of my time living in London was attending evensong services at St. Paul’s Cathedral.

faith seems like a more acceptable word than spiritual (wince). but faith has another problem – faith in what? i’m not sure what i have faith in yet, although i know i have it. not a faith journal…

i believe i am sticking with what makes sense to me, although i don’t think it will make as much sense to others. i’ve decided that what i’m writing is the journal of my path. it’s how i named it, it’s how i have been thinking of my life. if i have a mantra, it is: i am on my path. that will mean all manner of things at different times.

i went to three yoga classes this weekend.

friday night was intermediate vinyasa at O2 taught by Ann Panopoulos.  i had been looking for excuses not to go because i felt exhausted and awful, but this class was exactly what i needed. a solid physical challenge that left me energized. i need to practice crow pose more. this was my first class with Ann, and i liked it immensely. the teachers at O2 are consistently great, although i admit that i do have favorites. i do not flip my dog well, for the record.

saturday i accompanied my friend Gonzalo to Heather Ash’s restorative class at BBY – mmmm bolsters. it’s been ages and ages since i went to class with someone, so i felt nervous about whether or not Gonzalo would have a good time at his first ever yoga class, which was mildly distracting for my practice. fortunately, restorative poses are so relaxing that i stopped worrying about his practice and got into my own. Heather played an opera and classical mix that was a nice change of pace from what i normally hear at a studio. it reminded me that it’s been a while since i did a home practice while listening to Zoe Keating. once i find the floor of my bedroom (currently covered in boxes), that’ll be on my to-do list.

sunday, after moving house and lunch, i went to beginner vinyasa at BBY taught by Ame Wren. Ame is one of my favorite beginner teachers – her explanations are clear, her verbal adjustments are awesome, and she brings great energy to her teaching. Gonzalo also went to this class. i *think* he enjoyed it.  we must have collectively been a bunch of lazy yogis yesterday, because Ame reminded us often to tuck tail and pull in core – two things that i am consistently negligent on. i’m so glad that i went to class after moving. one day i’ll learn that it’s best not to give in to that insistent little voice that tells me to stay in bed instead of doing yoga.

tonight i have swim class, which should really have its own post at some point because it stirs some incredible negativity in me. i really want to go straight home tomorrow and unpack, but instead i’ll go to O2. promise.


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