Posted by: birdmaddgirl | 3 May 2010

balmy day

as you can tell by my silence, i’ve had a time keeping up with all the various things i’m juggling. rather than look back, i prefer to look forward. there’s lots [more] change afoot, it’s exciting. summer is my favorite time of year – hurrah for planning and for beautiful weather.

i’m now a solo rated sailor! i’ve gone out a couple of times in the company of my friend Jason, and we haven’t managed to capsize yet. we still fully expect to, but so far so good. the winds on the Charles River are quite shifty. sailing is going to teach me an awful lot about being in the moment and taking life as it presents itself. i’m also learning how to tie some wicked knots.

this summer i am embarking on my first daily yoga challenge. from memorial day until labor day, i intend to get in a minimum 20 minute daily practice, in whatever style works best for my body on that day. i’m looking for a good audio Ashtanga Primary Series to practice along with on my own, so if you happen to know of one, please comment.

i’ve noticed that i tend to work in cycles, and it looks like this is going to be a year of letting go for me. mostly of expectations. what can be reasonably expected of another person? it sounds cynical when i type it, but my immediate reaction is: nothing. easier said than done though. my own expectations inevitably cause me no end of difficulty. is it hard to expect nothing of others because it is hard to face self-reliance? perhaps. as a single lady living far from family, i find that i worry about my ability to be self-reliant. and that one of the unthinking push-backs of that worry is that i look for ways to not be so self-reliant. it’s a proof thing: “see someone will help you!” but then when someone doesn’t come through, it gets ugly right quick. for better or worse, there’s a direct link in my head between self-reliance and self-esteem. this i need to figure out how to let go of.


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