Posted by: birdmaddgirl | 6 August 2010

storming question perhaps

long overdue. summer of yoga utterly derailed. july is possibly the least yoga i’ve done in the past year and a half. it’s disappointing, but it’s also grounding. i’m often unrealistic in my goals and expectations, so having something come crashing down around my head is good for me. i did, at least, finally return to ashtanga after a couple months off (long enough for my body to start to forget the sequence). it felt great to practice a full primary. i’m sore, but my body was more up for it than i’d have thought. i’m really sad about how far away from being able to do a headstand i’ve gotten. i know i’m not “supposed” to, but i want to stand on my head. and i want to do crow pose. i was getting close to both last fall. which brings me to the injury update: my shoulder is still effed. my left hand is now busted. doctor visits have all been useless. i’m giving up and just using my body in whatever way is comfortable and assuming that this is how i’ll be for the rest of my life. if something gets better, then it’ll be a happy surprise.

the application for my white card goes in this week. i never anticipated the multiplicity of identity crises that go along with tribal membership. to be a member of one of the Cherokee nations (there are 3), your family must trace ancestry back to the Dawes Rolls. did your family refuse to participate in a US government census of the tribe? oh, you can’t be Cherokee now. but really, how else can the tribe regulate its membership? clearly, wiser heads than mine have failed to come up with a satisfactory answer to that question. and what does it even mean for me to have tribal membership? how do i live up to that responsibility? how do i integrate all the weird bits of myself into this identity? of course, these questions don’t have answers, except to live it out. and it will be a year before anything “changes” anyway. does a card give me a piece of myself? yes. and no. but yes.

if you’re curious about some of the insanity of tribal identity, registration, and culture, this article from Indian Country Today is pretty interesting.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: