Posted by: birdmaddgirl | 6 February 2011

bodies inhabit poem

often i am lost. lost as i have been this weekend among people with similar passions, yet i with no definitive means of connecting. even more often i am not lost, but uncertain. terrified.

but i am inhabiting with you, poets. even if i freak out about interacting. in my heart, i do not doubt this. i doubt almost everything about myself, up to and including my capacity to have a meaningful interaction with any other human being, the most basic stuff of being a person. but i do not doubt my ability to write a poem. you might not like my poems. but i can write them. well. it is what i am. i believe more deeply and solidly in it than i can express in any language.

i didn’t mean it when i said to Roxanne, “fuck it, i can do it all.” but after i said it, i did. i meant it in her reaction, which i am profoundly grateful for. i meant it that i am bound and determined to write a good thesis, to be a poet, to travel the world, to become a fluent Spanish speaker, to learn to sail, to practice yoga and put together a workshop, to teach, to cook, to be history, to translate, to have a body, to have heart, to lose it all. i have already lost everything i thought i ever had. fuck it. i might be alone and scared for the rest of my life. but that won’t stop me from doing it.

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Responses

  1. xoxo


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