Posted by: birdmaddgirl | 14 June 2011

we all have our truths

it’s been a long silence and a tough week to inhabit my head. i’m experiencing a good deal of worry and uncertainty. you know, the usual ridiculous chasing-one’s-own-tail sort of things: who the hell am i? what do i think i’m doing anyway? what’s the point? what’s my point? blah blah blah. as big as it feels from the inside at times, it’s not all that important.

what really feels disruptive is that i feel i’ve lost connection with my own truths. i know the truth of my body in motion on my mat, and that’s really about it. any individual is made up of many truths, but i’ve cornered myself in a few small stories. it’s hard to be contained by such smallness. and yet i keep boxing myself in.

i’m about to finish my yoga teacher training at O2. today was ashtanga review day – it was welcome and comfortable and safe. i had no idea how much i’d grown to love the practice, but i do. i have a regular but by no means dedicated ashtanga practice. and today i noticed that it felt like coming home in a storm. the rest of the week will be dedicated to a props practice, a business of yoga workshop, and then a whole lot of sequence building and preparation for our final practicums. by week’s end, i’ll be done with this tiny piece of my learning. and i hope that in some small way i can relearn the truths i’ve been shown here every day that follows.

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