Posted by: birdmaddgirl | 25 April 2013

from the cleansing trenches

today is day 3 (of 4) for the main phase of my ayurvedic spring cleanse. i’ve let most of my intentions for how to spend my time on this cleanse go. initially i wanted this to be a deeply reflective period. one of the reasons i decided to shift my cleanse to this week is that i have very little by way of obligations or plans (red sox tickets tonight, but otherwise nothing). so i intended to read and journal and think and all that good stuff.

instead i’ve let the bout of whatever nasty chest cold i picked up last week take over. this has meant mostly sleeping. tuesday i went to bed before the sun was even down, which is kind of freaky for someone who is far more likely to be still up at sunrise. but it justified skipping my weekly ashtanga class (i’m still hoping to make it up via a home practice over the weekend, energy levels pending).

mostly what i can say at this point is that cravings are pretty easy to manage with a cold – i can’t smell anything anyway and my throat has felt like it was lined with broken glass until this morning. i feel like i’m missing out on a level of awareness because i’m just not feeling well. i know my body is pouring all of its reserves into healing, there’s not much left in the tank for anything else. yesterday i had some serious mood swings, which have continued somewhat less violently into today. i’ve been pretty energetic in the mornings, a little droopy in the afternoons, and wiped in the evenings. i’ve had to dial the protocol back to adjust for being sick. it feels good to be sticking with this anyway, but i’m also weirdly ashamed to take it down a notch. not sure what the post-cleanse phase will be like this time – i’m going to ease more gently through the reintegration phase than i did the first time.

once again, i’m not necessarily thinking that major diet changes will come out of this cleanse (although i can see how in the future that may happen). for now, i’m treating it as a respite and a rare time to carve out space for myself. i think this is true for most of the women i know, but it’s certainly true in my life, that i was never given a good template for how to make myself a priority in a positive sense. it’s wrecked some havoc to not have this skill. all i can do is work to do my best.

one more day of kitchari and then a really low key kanjee saturday, followed by a 4-6 day reintegration. good times.

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